As I mentioned last post, we're flying home via Air New Zealand. The flight seems to be pretty full, so it's lemming time once again. We're located in the midpoint of the plane this go-round. I get the window seat, and JQ pretends to be happy for me (but the first time I go to the bathroom, she takes it and I never get it back. SO TYPICAL).
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| Last moments in New Zealand. Last moments before JQ steals my window seat. |
When we first flew to Australia a month ago, we were lucky enough to have a two-person row of seats to ourselves. However, on the flight home, we now have a stranger sitting on the aisle seat. She seems like a nice person, but I hate having to bother someone by climbing over them (and by "someone" I mean "other than JQ"), so I am guessing I will probably spend more time seated on this flight. And no more pretzel-JQ folding herself under the seats like some horror-movie creature. (I will admit to a mild disappointment on that count.)
On the upside, Air New Zealand convincingly kicks Air Canada to the curb, and earns a spot on the trophy shelf next to Qantas. Our economy egg-carton-seats come with leg rests - think of a lazy-boy recliner. We are astonished! Granted, you still only get the minimum allotment of egg-carton space to move around in, but it raises the comfort level from a 2 to a solid 4 out of 10.
As for electronic distractions - oh boy, they have a fabulous variety in-flight movie options! The typical New Releases, but also a huge selection of Classics (think "Gone With the Wind" and "Casablanca"), Action, Sci-Fi (including all the Lord of the Rings films, 7 Star Wars films, all Harry Potter films), and a selection of New Zealand cinema flicks. I'm in film heaven. So many options!
I end up watching "The Shape of Water" (liked it). And yes, even though I've seen it many times before, it always brings me to my happy place, so of course I watched "The Empire Strikes Back". 💗 That was a completely worthwhile two hours of happy non-pain on the plane. And then, from the New Zealand collection, I finished up with Taika Waititi's "Hunt for the Wilderpeople" (really liked that one a lot).
In between the movies, I tried to sleep, but there were screaming children. Yeah. Two rows behind us. 😐 Everyone loves small children on planes, right? You get to experience that precious little shrieking lullaby that kind of lulls you into a perpetually awake haze of confusion and anger.
Okay, yeah, I get it. I know that people have to fly. And I know that sometimes they have to fly with their children. Multiple children. Maybe even young children. And I understand that you can't help it that your kids cry, and that it sucks for everybody, including you. So blah, blah, disclaimer: kids are allowed to travel and cry, blah, and they're allowed to be seated near other people blah blah blah.
But OMG, every time, every time I started to maybe possibly start to drift off into something resembling a half-sleep...
"Wuhhh wuhh wuhhh.... wa..waaahhh-AAAAHHH-aaaahhhh..."
For the record, that's the sound of the kid(s) crying, not me. In case you're curious, I make sounds that are more like "aagghhh---ggrrrrrraaaa---ffffuuuuuhhh." Think of the sound of teeth grinding and eyeballs rolling. 😬 Why yes, I believe that eyeballs do actually make a sound if you roll them hard enough. (It's usually the sound of your optic nerve snapping, which is not good, so don't overdo it.)
I don't get to sleep on this flight. I don't. Why? Because I don't have industrial strength earplugs, that's why. My noise-cancelling headphones are not up to the task of blocking out weeping and wailing children. If they were, moms everywhere would be wearing those things, and you know it.
Instead, I take selfies of myself, documenting the various stages of rage and weariness and acceptance. Sometimes, I get up and I go to the bathroom. Not because I actually need to use the facilities, but because I'm so tired of sitting in one place, and so bored. Sometimes I look through all the little compartments and closets in the bathroom. Sometimes I just stand there and stare at myself in the mirror. It's not exciting, but it's something to do.
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Finally, we land in Vancouver. Yay! It's not Australia, and it's not New Zealand, and it's not quite home, but it is in Canada, and more importantly, it's "get off the plane, and those children aren't yours so you don't have to take them with you", which is the best thing ever right now.
Now that we're in Vancouver, we have just one more flight before we're home.
But we have to wait 8 hours for our next plane. BoooOOOoooo.
Also, we won't be flying Qantas or Air New Zealand anymore - it's back to the egg-carton-stylings of Air Canada. (I feel unpatriotic, but... double boo!)
😢
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