In New Zealand, we have been staying abed longer because we are lazy lardbutts. Once again, we checked out of our hotel at the last possible moment, which would be 9:59 a.m.
JQ is on driving duty today, as I drove us to Matamata yesterday (and did all the night driving back from Hobbiton, because she can't drive at night on account of her decrepit old eyeballs). Today, she wants to detour to Tauranga to visit Ted and Heather (family friends). Apparently when JQ's mom calls her at 2 a.m., it's to tell her where to go. Now, you know that I tell JQ where to go all the time - all the time! But she never listens to me. Hmph.
Anyway, Ted and Heather: at the moment, they are also travelling around, so tracking down an appropriate time to meet has been a challenge. However, today we will have time to meet them at their vacation home in Mt. Maunganui in Tauranga, which is an hour away from Matamata, have lunch with them, and then head on down to Rotorua, because we have yet another dinner event booked for tonight. (I know. 🐷🐷 Oink.)
Once we leave Matamata, we are driving up into the hills, and mist is hanging on the slopes. The view back down into the hills is just green and gorgeous.
Our GPS informs us that it is going to take us down some toll roads on the way to Tauranga. JQ says that's fine, we will pay at the toll booth.
Uh oh, now we are driving on the toll road - did you see the toll booth? I did not. A sign warns us that JQ will go to jail. She is concerned; I am less so. However, the next billboard says that we have 5 days to pay before she is jailed, so I take a picture of the sign, since it has the website address. We should be okay now. Neither one of us would ever forget to follow through on anything so important. Right? 😛
The GPS successfully leads us to Ted & Heather's address in Mt Maunganui, where we do have a little difficulty determining where to park. What are those white boxes marked on the pavement - do they mean we CAN park there, or do they mean that we CAN'T because they're reserved spots or something? We're not sure, so we drive past the white outlined boxes, do a u-turn, and park on the other side of the street without markings. When in doubt, just avoid the issue altogether.
We meet up with the famous Ted and Heather - and Heather's brother Peter (from Canada!) is also in town, so we get to meet him as well. Heather kindly provides us with scones, fruit and snacks, and we all gather on their balcony to eat and chat. (She also gives us limes from her tree to take with us! Awesome!) Ted gives me a number of travel tips, based on our itinerary, and some items that I just add to the "next time" pile, because they're a bit too far out of our way, but I would love to do them. I will be hoarding that list and passing on the travel tips, if anyone else I know is headed this way.
Unfortunately, because of our pre-booked dinner plans, we do have to be on the road again before too long. However, before we go, they want to show us their beach, which is just two blocks up the street. JQ expected that they were just going to give her driving directions, but no, they are hopping into the car to direct us.
With an audience in the car, JQ gets a wee bit flustered, and, wanting to impress them with her confident driving skills, she signals her intentions to pull away from the curb by hitting the window wipers. Twice. ~Wheep Whoop. Wheep Whoop.~ This is an awkward thing that happens to North Americans and other right-side car drivers. When we want to signal, we clean the windshield. When we want to turn on the window wipers, we signal. It's like a giant sign saying "Hello, I am new to driving in New Zealand."
Anyway, the windshield is now clean, so we drive the two blocks to the beach, and - WOW! How big, how blue, how beautiful. 😉 (F+tM.) Blue skies, blue water, waves rolling in, and a beautiful bright sandy beach.
This is not a bay, it is the Pacific. I want to walk down into it.
JQ is being responsible: I'm not sure we have the time, we have to drive to Rotorua--
CF: But it's right there! You can't expect me to just walk away when it's right there!
JQ: Well, I won't be responsible for the cost of those tickets if we're late...
CF: Lalalala, can't hear you, I'm already running down to the ocean!
Off I go, traipsing through super-soft sand to the Pacific. I hear JQ explaining to Heather that she is the by-the-numbers researcher, and I am the go-with-the-flow, and the flow is currently leading me to the Pacific.
Whee! The water is warm, and it's rolling in on waves big enough to surf on, as some people are doing in the background. I don't surf, I don't swim, and I'm not much of beach person, but this is a freaking gorgeous stretch of beach by my standards. We spend a few minutes wandering in the waves.
I have walked into the Pacific at San Diego in the States, and now I've stepped into the Pacific from the other side of the world at Mt Maunganui in New Zealand. Amazing. 😎
Now that our lower extremities are completely coated in the world's softest beach sand, it is time to get back in our car and head to Rotorua. I brush off several molehills of sand, but yeah, there's still a lot of sand getting tracked into this car. We say goodbye & thanks so much to Ted and Heather for the lovely visit, and the fantastic view of the ocean, and then we have to head off on our way to Rotorua.
JQ drives us to Rotorua in good time. We are both feeling more confident with our driving. Today, we missed a turn on a roundabout (there are a billion roundabouts here in New Zealand, so you'd better get used to them), but when you go astray, the GPS will get you back on track, and that's precisely why we wanted it. It removes a huge layer of stress from driving, giving us more time to focus on hitting the signal, not the windshield wipers. 😅
In Rotorua, we are staying at the Fernleaf Motel. It's a smaller motel on a quiet side street, but our room is super spacious, especially for the price. There's a front room with a couch and a twin bed, and my first thought is that one of us will sleep on the sofa. But no, there is a second room, and it has both a queen-sized and a twin bed. There's a dining room table, and a kitchenette, and the same type of awning window that seems to exist everywhere in New Zealand. No tub, once again, just a shower - but this hotel has a pool out front (JQ is excited), and it has a closed in natural mineral bath in the back (I am excited). The whole place is heated by geothermal heat, not just the mineral bath, but the radiators in all the rooms as well.
We explode our luggage all over the place, as is our wont, then argue who will take the servant's quarters out front and who will take the royal queen's chambers. JQ is relegated to the queenly cloisters (I promise not to lock her in), and I take my spot in the front, because I want the extra wall plugs and the chairs.
We have about one hour before our bus comes to pick us up for our "Tamaki Maori Village Cultural Discovery & Hangi Feast". We throw our clothes in the washing machine, then JQ heads out to a nearby mall to buy saline for her contacts, and I avail myself of the mineral bath all by myself. The water is sitting at 36C, and it is divine. I probably smell like sulphur when I get out (okay, more than usual, I mean).
When a big red bus trundles down our side street, JQ and I leap up. Yep, it's the Tamaki tour bus (the tour we booked will pick you up at your hotel, which is awesome). Our bus name is WEKA, and our driver is Hare, and he is a real comedian. 😄
Once we are fully loaded up with people, Hare keeps up a running commentary, telling us we are now the Weka group, likening our bus to a canoe, and making us row, and teaching us Maori words (Kia Ora! Which means to be healthy, or be well, and is used as a greeting or farewell).
Our boat-bus Weka needs to have a chief, and (disclaimer blah tradition blah disclaimer) the chief should be a man. Are there any men on this bus who want to volunteer? Silence. Are there any men who want to be chief ? Still no takers. Hare makes squawking chicken sounds. Exasperated, he asks: Are there any men on this bus?
Finally someone steps forward. Chris from Canada. Yay! Our chief is from Canada. Hare gives instructions, and probably to Chris' surprise, the chief actually has official duties on this tour. He will be greeted by Maori warriors when we reach the village. He must be ready to accept the peace offering which will be placed on the ground in front of them, pick it up and back away without turning around, and they need to do the traditional Maori greeting, the Hongi, which is pressing noses together, twice in succession. Then, when the ceremony is finished, he will lead his tribe (the bus people of Weka) into the village.
We also receive instructions on our etiquette during the ceremony; no laughing, smiling, smirking. No speaking during the ceremony, no turning away when the warriors are greeting us, as this would be considered an insult. We can take photos, but only from a stationary position.
When all the busloads are unloaded and waiting outside the village, we first hear music that sounds like some kind of flute, and shouting in the background, and the warriors arrive in a boat. They dance and strut around, eyes bulging and tongues out, and confront the four chiefs who are waiting to greet them. This is the Haka, which is a ceremonial dance.
Unfortunately, I'm shorter, and we were all squished in, so I didn't get a super-good look, except from the sides and around people's (giant) heads. But it was still impressive, even with my reduced visibility.
Once the Maori chief has greeted all the chiefs of the tour-bus tribes, he says that the formalities are now over; we can all smile, and the chiefs can all breathe. Whoosh! I'm sure all of those guys let out a big sigh of relief. All four of the tour-bus tribes are separately sent to various informational displays in succession.
Once we've learned all our tiny brains can handle (or when the time limit is up - which may or may not coincide), all the groups are called in to see the presentation of the food for the evening feast. The food is slowly cooked in underground geothermal pits, wrapped in cloth and then covered with ash (if I am remembering that correctly). Essentially, the food steams and cooks in its own juices. They open up one cooking area while we watch, and lift out several big baskets of food.
Now I imagine the kitchen staff have to do a bit of work to get that food ready for the buffet, so we are all re-routed into a theater to watch a display of singing and dancing. Again, there are far too many tall people with giant heads in front of me. Gah. Fortunately that doesn't stop me from hearing the singing, which is fantastic.
Time for supper. JQ and I are seated next to Bruce and Susan from California. JQ buys me a Lemon Lime Bitter drink, because she says I am a bitter old hag (but she is so sweet, I should buy her some chocolate). When we get called up to the buffet, we load up our plates, and OMG, the food is freaking delicious! Don't get me wrong, I love-love-love the whole Hobbiton experience, but I think the Tamaki Hangi Feast has the better-tasting meat. It was so tender and tasty. Perfect!
For her part, JQ felt that Hobbiton had the better pavlova dessert, so it balances out. When in New Zealand, I think you should just do both dinners so that you can compare. No matter which on you prefer, both will be worth savoring. 😋
So it was a great time! But on the bus drive back, Hare almost managed to one-up the Hangi feast. The drive back into town is about 15-20 minutes, so he started out by asking the bus passengers from each country to sing a song from their country. Chris from Canada sang a few bars from Stompin' Tom Connors' "It's a Good Old Hockey Game." Since JQ and I don't know that one, we couldn't help out, but he did pretty good on his own. Then Chris challenged Australia next...
You know I love the Aussies - we are fresh off a fabulous trip to their lovely country - but damn, those Aussies could not get coordinated. They could not pick out a song, and kept failing. While the Aussie were confused, the Brits obviously used the time to coordinate, and when they were called, they belted out "Hey Jude". Of course, everyone joins in. The Americans... I think they didn't manage to sing anything either. Or if they did, I can't remember it.
Giving up on our failed league of nations, Hare starts belting out "the wheels of the bus go round and round." You know the song, right? But when we get to the line, "the horn of the bus goes beep beep beep," Hare leans on the horn. BEEP-BEEEP-BEEEEEPP!!! Some poor little passing car is like "OMG, what? what did I do?", and then it veers off the road and bursts into flames. (Probably. I didn't actually see that happen, but it could have, right?) We are all screaming with laughter and/or terror. 😂
He leads us on a number of singalongs, including The Lion Sleeps Tonight, and when we're in town and approaching a roundabout, suddenly breaks into "She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes, she'll be.... etc.", and the bus is driving around and around and around in that traffic circle, over and over. Meanwhile, hapless pedestrians and nearby cars are all like, "what is wrong with the steering on that bus?" 😆😆😆
I never knew that a bus ride could be so much fun. I feel sorry for all the other buses who had a different driver, because Hare is absolutely THE BEST. He just cracked me up the whole time.
Just before Hare drops us off at our hotel, we decided to sing him a song from our country. So we sang (very poorly, because we were nervous and started singing too high, then had to adjust). But we sang a quintessentially Canadian song... the theme song from The Littlest Hobo.
Fortunately, there is no recording of our singing, but here's what it's supposed to sound like. Go ahead and listen - it's an earworm for sure!
😘
And that was it. We had an absolutely great time, and highly recommend the Tamaki Hangi Feast if you are ever visiting Rotorua. Well worth your time and money!
JQ is on driving duty today, as I drove us to Matamata yesterday (and did all the night driving back from Hobbiton, because she can't drive at night on account of her decrepit old eyeballs). Today, she wants to detour to Tauranga to visit Ted and Heather (family friends). Apparently when JQ's mom calls her at 2 a.m., it's to tell her where to go. Now, you know that I tell JQ where to go all the time - all the time! But she never listens to me. Hmph.
Anyway, Ted and Heather: at the moment, they are also travelling around, so tracking down an appropriate time to meet has been a challenge. However, today we will have time to meet them at their vacation home in Mt. Maunganui in Tauranga, which is an hour away from Matamata, have lunch with them, and then head on down to Rotorua, because we have yet another dinner event booked for tonight. (I know. 🐷🐷 Oink.)
Our GPS informs us that it is going to take us down some toll roads on the way to Tauranga. JQ says that's fine, we will pay at the toll booth.
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| JQ drove without paying. She's going to jail! |
The GPS successfully leads us to Ted & Heather's address in Mt Maunganui, where we do have a little difficulty determining where to park. What are those white boxes marked on the pavement - do they mean we CAN park there, or do they mean that we CAN'T because they're reserved spots or something? We're not sure, so we drive past the white outlined boxes, do a u-turn, and park on the other side of the street without markings. When in doubt, just avoid the issue altogether.
We meet up with the famous Ted and Heather - and Heather's brother Peter (from Canada!) is also in town, so we get to meet him as well. Heather kindly provides us with scones, fruit and snacks, and we all gather on their balcony to eat and chat. (She also gives us limes from her tree to take with us! Awesome!) Ted gives me a number of travel tips, based on our itinerary, and some items that I just add to the "next time" pile, because they're a bit too far out of our way, but I would love to do them. I will be hoarding that list and passing on the travel tips, if anyone else I know is headed this way.
Unfortunately, because of our pre-booked dinner plans, we do have to be on the road again before too long. However, before we go, they want to show us their beach, which is just two blocks up the street. JQ expected that they were just going to give her driving directions, but no, they are hopping into the car to direct us.
With an audience in the car, JQ gets a wee bit flustered, and, wanting to impress them with her confident driving skills, she signals her intentions to pull away from the curb by hitting the window wipers. Twice. ~Wheep Whoop. Wheep Whoop.~ This is an awkward thing that happens to North Americans and other right-side car drivers. When we want to signal, we clean the windshield. When we want to turn on the window wipers, we signal. It's like a giant sign saying "Hello, I am new to driving in New Zealand."
Anyway, the windshield is now clean, so we drive the two blocks to the beach, and - WOW! How big, how blue, how beautiful. 😉 (F+tM.) Blue skies, blue water, waves rolling in, and a beautiful bright sandy beach.
JQ is being responsible: I'm not sure we have the time, we have to drive to Rotorua--
CF: But it's right there! You can't expect me to just walk away when it's right there!
JQ: Well, I won't be responsible for the cost of those tickets if we're late...
CF: Lalalala, can't hear you, I'm already running down to the ocean!
Off I go, traipsing through super-soft sand to the Pacific. I hear JQ explaining to Heather that she is the by-the-numbers researcher, and I am the go-with-the-flow, and the flow is currently leading me to the Pacific.
I have walked into the Pacific at San Diego in the States, and now I've stepped into the Pacific from the other side of the world at Mt Maunganui in New Zealand. Amazing. 😎
Now that our lower extremities are completely coated in the world's softest beach sand, it is time to get back in our car and head to Rotorua. I brush off several molehills of sand, but yeah, there's still a lot of sand getting tracked into this car. We say goodbye & thanks so much to Ted and Heather for the lovely visit, and the fantastic view of the ocean, and then we have to head off on our way to Rotorua.
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| On the road to Rotorua |
In Rotorua, we are staying at the Fernleaf Motel. It's a smaller motel on a quiet side street, but our room is super spacious, especially for the price. There's a front room with a couch and a twin bed, and my first thought is that one of us will sleep on the sofa. But no, there is a second room, and it has both a queen-sized and a twin bed. There's a dining room table, and a kitchenette, and the same type of awning window that seems to exist everywhere in New Zealand. No tub, once again, just a shower - but this hotel has a pool out front (JQ is excited), and it has a closed in natural mineral bath in the back (I am excited). The whole place is heated by geothermal heat, not just the mineral bath, but the radiators in all the rooms as well.
We explode our luggage all over the place, as is our wont, then argue who will take the servant's quarters out front and who will take the royal queen's chambers. JQ is relegated to the queenly cloisters (I promise not to lock her in), and I take my spot in the front, because I want the extra wall plugs and the chairs.
We have about one hour before our bus comes to pick us up for our "Tamaki Maori Village Cultural Discovery & Hangi Feast". We throw our clothes in the washing machine, then JQ heads out to a nearby mall to buy saline for her contacts, and I avail myself of the mineral bath all by myself. The water is sitting at 36C, and it is divine. I probably smell like sulphur when I get out (okay, more than usual, I mean).
Once we are fully loaded up with people, Hare keeps up a running commentary, telling us we are now the Weka group, likening our bus to a canoe, and making us row, and teaching us Maori words (Kia Ora! Which means to be healthy, or be well, and is used as a greeting or farewell).
Our boat-bus Weka needs to have a chief, and (disclaimer blah tradition blah disclaimer) the chief should be a man. Are there any men on this bus who want to volunteer? Silence. Are there any men who want to be chief ? Still no takers. Hare makes squawking chicken sounds. Exasperated, he asks: Are there any men on this bus?
Finally someone steps forward. Chris from Canada. Yay! Our chief is from Canada. Hare gives instructions, and probably to Chris' surprise, the chief actually has official duties on this tour. He will be greeted by Maori warriors when we reach the village. He must be ready to accept the peace offering which will be placed on the ground in front of them, pick it up and back away without turning around, and they need to do the traditional Maori greeting, the Hongi, which is pressing noses together, twice in succession. Then, when the ceremony is finished, he will lead his tribe (the bus people of Weka) into the village.
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| Entrance to Maori Village |
When all the busloads are unloaded and waiting outside the village, we first hear music that sounds like some kind of flute, and shouting in the background, and the warriors arrive in a boat. They dance and strut around, eyes bulging and tongues out, and confront the four chiefs who are waiting to greet them. This is the Haka, which is a ceremonial dance.
Unfortunately, I'm shorter, and we were all squished in, so I didn't get a super-good look, except from the sides and around people's (giant) heads. But it was still impressive, even with my reduced visibility.
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Once the Maori chief has greeted all the chiefs of the tour-bus tribes, he says that the formalities are now over; we can all smile, and the chiefs can all breathe. Whoosh! I'm sure all of those guys let out a big sigh of relief. All four of the tour-bus tribes are separately sent to various informational displays in succession.
- There are the warriors waiting by the canoe, who explain about the history of exploration and migration, and how New Zealand, Hawaii and Easter Island make up the triangle of exploration, with Tahiti being the ancestral origin of the Maori.
- There are the women who show us how to dance with twirling rocks (now synthetic materials), and our chief (Chris from Canada) has to select four women from our group to participate. JQ and I look inconspicuous and escape detection.
- Next station, there is a woman who teaches a game of balancing staffs. Again, the chief has to pick participants, two men and two women, and oh, they need to be taller than the staffs. (Did I hear a "ruh roh" in the back?) Behind me, JQ is slouching down, trying to be shorter. It doesn't work: Chris from Canada has sharp eyes, and she gets picked. Ha ha - short person syndrome worked out for me today! 😄
- It's the men's turn to participate at the next building. The chief is pulled aside and coached, and then Chief Chris from Canada returns, holding a staff, and intones in a not-quite-monotone, "All men of my tribe come down and join me." So all the guys have to line up beside him and learn (and perform!) a Maori dance. Love it!
- Last station for us is dedicated to learning, and we can ask whatever questions we want. One person asks about the buildings. JQ asks about the significance of the tattoos, which is how we learn that their tattooed faces are "permanent for the next 45 minutes" in the words of the warrior, but the tattoos elsewhere on their body are real and permanent. JQ asks most of the questions, and in fact lags behind to ask more when the group moves on.
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| Presentation of the food |
Now I imagine the kitchen staff have to do a bit of work to get that food ready for the buffet, so we are all re-routed into a theater to watch a display of singing and dancing. Again, there are far too many tall people with giant heads in front of me. Gah. Fortunately that doesn't stop me from hearing the singing, which is fantastic.
Time for supper. JQ and I are seated next to Bruce and Susan from California. JQ buys me a Lemon Lime Bitter drink, because she says I am a bitter old hag (but she is so sweet, I should buy her some chocolate). When we get called up to the buffet, we load up our plates, and OMG, the food is freaking delicious! Don't get me wrong, I love-love-love the whole Hobbiton experience, but I think the Tamaki Hangi Feast has the better-tasting meat. It was so tender and tasty. Perfect!
For her part, JQ felt that Hobbiton had the better pavlova dessert, so it balances out. When in New Zealand, I think you should just do both dinners so that you can compare. No matter which on you prefer, both will be worth savoring. 😋
So it was a great time! But on the bus drive back, Hare almost managed to one-up the Hangi feast. The drive back into town is about 15-20 minutes, so he started out by asking the bus passengers from each country to sing a song from their country. Chris from Canada sang a few bars from Stompin' Tom Connors' "It's a Good Old Hockey Game." Since JQ and I don't know that one, we couldn't help out, but he did pretty good on his own. Then Chris challenged Australia next...
You know I love the Aussies - we are fresh off a fabulous trip to their lovely country - but damn, those Aussies could not get coordinated. They could not pick out a song, and kept failing. While the Aussie were confused, the Brits obviously used the time to coordinate, and when they were called, they belted out "Hey Jude". Of course, everyone joins in. The Americans... I think they didn't manage to sing anything either. Or if they did, I can't remember it.
Giving up on our failed league of nations, Hare starts belting out "the wheels of the bus go round and round." You know the song, right? But when we get to the line, "the horn of the bus goes beep beep beep," Hare leans on the horn. BEEP-BEEEP-BEEEEEPP!!! Some poor little passing car is like "OMG, what? what did I do?", and then it veers off the road and bursts into flames. (Probably. I didn't actually see that happen, but it could have, right?) We are all screaming with laughter and/or terror. 😂
He leads us on a number of singalongs, including The Lion Sleeps Tonight, and when we're in town and approaching a roundabout, suddenly breaks into "She'll be coming round the mountain when she comes, she'll be.... etc.", and the bus is driving around and around and around in that traffic circle, over and over. Meanwhile, hapless pedestrians and nearby cars are all like, "what is wrong with the steering on that bus?" 😆😆😆
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| Goodbye hongi for Hare and JQ |
Just before Hare drops us off at our hotel, we decided to sing him a song from our country. So we sang (very poorly, because we were nervous and started singing too high, then had to adjust). But we sang a quintessentially Canadian song... the theme song from The Littlest Hobo.
Fortunately, there is no recording of our singing, but here's what it's supposed to sound like. Go ahead and listen - it's an earworm for sure!
😘
And that was it. We had an absolutely great time, and highly recommend the Tamaki Hangi Feast if you are ever visiting Rotorua. Well worth your time and money!
Wow, great to see them keep those traditions alive! The Tamaki Village was a great stop on our trip, really interesting and an enjoyable visit.
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