"You've just survived offroad horrors adventures; thunderstorm and rain at the rim of the Grand Canyon; vehicular slalom on the Interstates, and crippling sunburn in San Diego. What are you going to do now???"
"We're going to Disneyland!!!"
Yes, we bunked down in Anaheim last night, and when we had a clear view of the fireworks from our Econolodge balcony, we realized we were closer to the Mouse than we'd thought.
Took a shuttle bus to Disneyland in the morning, and when we got to the gate, lobster-boy (aka Stephen) was granted free admission. OMG, they think he's one of the attractions! "He's not a freak; he's my brother! Why do I have to pay?"
Well, being bitchy may take you places in the military (got me the Captain's chair on the USs Midway), it doesn't fly so well in Disneyland. That place runs on sunshine, happiness and rainbows. It's the "Happiest Place on Earth!" (The giant voice on the loudspeaker says so.) Being angry here is like punching Tinkerbell. So, when I kick up a fuss at the entrance gate, the machinery of the park slowly grinds to a halt as I burn up all the good vibes in the vicinity. Children start to cry. Argh! Not the crying children - I hate that! All right, all right, I'll stop arguing and pay to get in. "How much is it? $10?"
After forking over the $80 admission, I punch another Tinkerbell. "I'd better be happy here," and I glare at the cashier.
We walk into the park, and there's a huge wave of people, all bottlenecking near the entrance, because the park hasn't officially opened for the day. Ta da! There's a big fanfare, and it's open, and we're walking down the street to a ridiculous fanfare of music. I am smirking at the cheesiness of it, and yet, I'm still here.
Quick, to Star Tours, our first ride. The ride has changed since the last time I was here (which must be 15 years ago), and it's now a 3D ride. Highlight was the angry Wookiee sliding off the windshield. Apparently this ride was just retrofitted in June 2011 - almost brand spanking new!
The lineups for everything but Star Tours are pretty short - we had to wait about 15 minutes for Indiana Jones, since they'd had some technical problem just before we got in. That one was a fun ride - sort of like a tamer version of some of Stephen's 4x4 roads. (Seriously, it's the same sort of car movement - the bumpy steps and the hurky-jerky side-to-side movement - only it's all toned down for the ride.) :-)
Unfortunately, Haunted Mansion was closed today, but we caught Pirates of the Carribean, which has had a whole lot of "Jack Sparrow" added in. He wasn't there at all last time.
The Matterhorn was fun, and the Great Thunder Railroad also a fun roller-coaster. Space Mountain felt really fast, and it was a bit disorienting - not sure if it's faster than the other rollercoasters, or if it's just because you can't see anything ahead of you. I have this dazed look of "what's happening?" on my face; Stephen is gung ho. (But look at the guy in the background-- ???!)
For Splash Mountain, Stephen was in the front seat (cause I wasn't dumb enough to take that one), so he got the clear view of the 50' drop right before we went over. Aaarghhh! and splooosh! We all got soaked! Thank goodness it's a sunny day.
We found out there were different planets in the Star Tours ride, so we got a Fast Pass for a later ride (first ride we got Kashyyk, second time was Tatooine. I was hoping for Hoth, but no luck).
I think that Disney must have something along the lines of that Arena software we used to use at work. They've definitely put a lot of work into the fine art of efficiently moving people along (without using cattle prods).
By the afternoon, we were just wandering around and looking at all the stores and the different kinds of merchandise. You've got the cheap kitsch (large market for that!), lots of clothing shops, a crystal shop which sold glass and crystal versions of Disney characters. A Princess Boutique where, if you have a little girl in tow, you'll be dropping a whole lot of money - they had princess costume dresses for about $69 each, plus jewelled slippers or purses, plus an attached hair salon for your little princess to get her hair done. Yikes! Little Princess is going to have to get a job to pay for all that herself, because Rotten Stepmother isn't gonna pay.
We were getting tired, so we wandered into 'Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln' with no idea what it was, but there was a nice auditorium with comfy chairs to sit down in. Sold! Eventually, a Disney film started, rhapsodizing about the awesomeness of Lincoln. And then, the voiceover told us that Lincoln is still alive in the hearts of all who believe (or something like that) - and then the curtain drew back and THERE WAS A ROBOT LINCOLN! HAHAHAHH!!
Sure, it's probably meant to be inspiring, not funny, but still I couldn't help snickering. Robot Lincoln moves! It blinks! It stands up! Good Lord - will it run for public office?! Who can stop Robot Lincoln now???!!!
I kept looking for the string pulling him up - I know robots have a hard time actually standing up - that's why they're usually sitting or standing (or wheeled) - getting up from a sitting position is kind of a complex movement. Maybe there was no string - maybe he had a pole up his butt. Whatever.
Robot Lincoln stood, and he gestured with his little robotic fingers, and he said a little speech. Then he sat down, and the music was inspiring, and the backdrop turned to a field of stars. It was really quite weird.
You know - I'll bet a lot of money that whatever Lincoln figured his legacy would be, he never envisioned a robot version of himself speaking in a theme park headlined by a mouse. I think he prefers to think of the Lincoln Monument. Or maybe his giant head outside Laramie, Co. Now that I think of it, Lincoln has a lot of crap of himself. He's like the Napoleon of the USA (but taller).
Okay, we're done now. Back to the Econolodge and the happy bubbling spa. I love spas!
P.S. When we got back to the hotel, I realized we could see the top of the Matterhorn from our hotel balcony.
"We're going to Disneyland!!!"
Yes, we bunked down in Anaheim last night, and when we had a clear view of the fireworks from our Econolodge balcony, we realized we were closer to the Mouse than we'd thought.
Took a shuttle bus to Disneyland in the morning, and when we got to the gate, lobster-boy (aka Stephen) was granted free admission. OMG, they think he's one of the attractions! "He's not a freak; he's my brother! Why do I have to pay?"
Well, being bitchy may take you places in the military (got me the Captain's chair on the USs Midway), it doesn't fly so well in Disneyland. That place runs on sunshine, happiness and rainbows. It's the "Happiest Place on Earth!" (The giant voice on the loudspeaker says so.) Being angry here is like punching Tinkerbell. So, when I kick up a fuss at the entrance gate, the machinery of the park slowly grinds to a halt as I burn up all the good vibes in the vicinity. Children start to cry. Argh! Not the crying children - I hate that! All right, all right, I'll stop arguing and pay to get in. "How much is it? $10?"
After forking over the $80 admission, I punch another Tinkerbell. "I'd better be happy here," and I glare at the cashier.
We walk into the park, and there's a huge wave of people, all bottlenecking near the entrance, because the park hasn't officially opened for the day. Ta da! There's a big fanfare, and it's open, and we're walking down the street to a ridiculous fanfare of music. I am smirking at the cheesiness of it, and yet, I'm still here.
Quick, to Star Tours, our first ride. The ride has changed since the last time I was here (which must be 15 years ago), and it's now a 3D ride. Highlight was the angry Wookiee sliding off the windshield. Apparently this ride was just retrofitted in June 2011 - almost brand spanking new!
The lineups for everything but Star Tours are pretty short - we had to wait about 15 minutes for Indiana Jones, since they'd had some technical problem just before we got in. That one was a fun ride - sort of like a tamer version of some of Stephen's 4x4 roads. (Seriously, it's the same sort of car movement - the bumpy steps and the hurky-jerky side-to-side movement - only it's all toned down for the ride.) :-)
Unfortunately, Haunted Mansion was closed today, but we caught Pirates of the Carribean, which has had a whole lot of "Jack Sparrow" added in. He wasn't there at all last time.
The Matterhorn was fun, and the Great Thunder Railroad also a fun roller-coaster. Space Mountain felt really fast, and it was a bit disorienting - not sure if it's faster than the other rollercoasters, or if it's just because you can't see anything ahead of you. I have this dazed look of "what's happening?" on my face; Stephen is gung ho. (But look at the guy in the background-- ???!)
For Splash Mountain, Stephen was in the front seat (cause I wasn't dumb enough to take that one), so he got the clear view of the 50' drop right before we went over. Aaarghhh! and splooosh! We all got soaked! Thank goodness it's a sunny day.
We found out there were different planets in the Star Tours ride, so we got a Fast Pass for a later ride (first ride we got Kashyyk, second time was Tatooine. I was hoping for Hoth, but no luck).
I think that Disney must have something along the lines of that Arena software we used to use at work. They've definitely put a lot of work into the fine art of efficiently moving people along (without using cattle prods).
By the afternoon, we were just wandering around and looking at all the stores and the different kinds of merchandise. You've got the cheap kitsch (large market for that!), lots of clothing shops, a crystal shop which sold glass and crystal versions of Disney characters. A Princess Boutique where, if you have a little girl in tow, you'll be dropping a whole lot of money - they had princess costume dresses for about $69 each, plus jewelled slippers or purses, plus an attached hair salon for your little princess to get her hair done. Yikes! Little Princess is going to have to get a job to pay for all that herself, because Rotten Stepmother isn't gonna pay.
We were getting tired, so we wandered into 'Great Moments with Mr. Lincoln' with no idea what it was, but there was a nice auditorium with comfy chairs to sit down in. Sold! Eventually, a Disney film started, rhapsodizing about the awesomeness of Lincoln. And then, the voiceover told us that Lincoln is still alive in the hearts of all who believe (or something like that) - and then the curtain drew back and THERE WAS A ROBOT LINCOLN! HAHAHAHH!!
Sure, it's probably meant to be inspiring, not funny, but still I couldn't help snickering. Robot Lincoln moves! It blinks! It stands up! Good Lord - will it run for public office?! Who can stop Robot Lincoln now???!!!
I kept looking for the string pulling him up - I know robots have a hard time actually standing up - that's why they're usually sitting or standing (or wheeled) - getting up from a sitting position is kind of a complex movement. Maybe there was no string - maybe he had a pole up his butt. Whatever.
Robot Lincoln stood, and he gestured with his little robotic fingers, and he said a little speech. Then he sat down, and the music was inspiring, and the backdrop turned to a field of stars. It was really quite weird.
You know - I'll bet a lot of money that whatever Lincoln figured his legacy would be, he never envisioned a robot version of himself speaking in a theme park headlined by a mouse. I think he prefers to think of the Lincoln Monument. Or maybe his giant head outside Laramie, Co. Now that I think of it, Lincoln has a lot of crap of himself. He's like the Napoleon of the USA (but taller).
Okay, we're done now. Back to the Econolodge and the happy bubbling spa. I love spas!
P.S. When we got back to the hotel, I realized we could see the top of the Matterhorn from our hotel balcony.

Keith would be so excited to hear you talk about that software! And no joke, I'm pretty sure he analyzed Disney's model for moving people. I know he gave a presentation on it, and talked about the fast pass system, where you grab a ticket and it tells you when to come back so you don't have to wait in a line over 15 min. You know he's doing work for the CFL for free scheduling their games? He offered his services up. I think he got free grey cup tickets though. Anyway....
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